Kingdom Of Broken Hearts
by Shattering Darkness
Summary: Have you ever had your heart broken into a million pieces? Have you ever felt the loss of a loved one? Have you ever had 'the one that got away? While random, these questions have a purpose. If you want to experience any of these, click on that title and dive in to a world of heartbreak. (I'm throwing in one or two happy endings, because why not?)
1. Gone

Gone

He tasted like menthol cigarettes and spearmint gum, and when he talked to me, that smile always lit up his eyes. He was mean, but the way he looked at me when we laid in bed after hot, passionate sex was the most wonderful feeling in the world. We were in love, willing to look past flaws that would be inexcusable in any other person. Like his snoring, or his incessant need to always be right, and it didn't matter what it was about..

His love was amazing. How he loved me, the little things he did.. His eyes, his hair, his laugh.. He was beautiful. And he was mine. He made my life worth living, and when he left, he ripped me to pieces. It was an accident, him leaving. He didn't chose to die, it just happened. He'd left his mark on the world, he'd left his mark on me. He was remembered, and that was all that mattered. He still lives in my heart, in the little things he said and the amazing way he held me when I was sad and scared..

His promises that things would always be darkest before the dawn are what give me hope now. His light guides me out of my depression, more now than it did before. He would kiss my scars and cry, begging me not to do it again.. he would say, "Sora, I love you. I love everything about you. Your scars are a part of you. They show your weakest moments, the ones you shared with me. But please, please don't make any more. Don't hurt your skin, don't kill yourself. You're the light of my life, I need you. And I wouldn't be able to call my life a success unless I helped you out of your dark places. Let me help you, love." He never saw a new scar after that. And he never will. Not because he's gone, but because I would never ruin his successful life by scarring myself again. If there is a better place, I know Riku is there, with his cigarettes and spearmint gum. Those will always be near me now, serving as a beautiful reminder of a beautiful man, one who gave me life, even when I couldn't return the favor.

He was an amazing person with a beautiful soul. He gave me life when I thought I didn't have it, he gave me love when I knew I didn't deserve it.. He ruined me for anyone else. I loved him with everything I had, and everything I am. His eyes will never shine again, his smile will never light up my heart.. His laugh will never make me happy, even when I feel like the world is against me. His love will never give me hope, will never warm my heart.. Our forever is over, and even though it'll never happen again, I know that someday I'll see him again. One day I'll feel his arms around me, I'll feel his love warming me to my very core. One day, I'll love again. Our forever will be just like it was, and when that day comes, nothing will take him away from me again.

**XoXoX**

**AN: Okay, so I'm starting a new little side project, this series is just a collection of one shots based on sad, heartbreaking stories I come up with and get inspired to write. None of them will have a happy ending, and that's the only warning you'll get. I think I'm fairly good with writing sadness and loss, so be warned. If you have anything you'd like to read, please let me know. I'll write it if I can get inspired by it(:**


	2. Raindrops

Raindrops

The rain fell hard around him as he gazed on the massacre he'd just committed. The blood washed in rivulets down the dirt, leaving streaks of red in the black dirt. Soon, it would be gone.. The deep red on his hands was dropping off quickly, nothing would be left. Axel looked up at the sky, eyes closing slowly as he took in the fresh life that pumped through his veins. He'd been so thirsty, he didn't care anymore. The teens' bonfire had died quickly after the rain began to fall, smoke trailing to the sky. He'd always loved the rain.. It had been Roxas' favorite. The sound, the smell.. He smiled a little as he thought of the blonde, chuckling softly. Roxas had died so long ago, long after Axel had left him. He wouldn't have wished this life upon the blonde, scared it would have twisted him beyond repair. He was selfish; wanting Roxas to stay the way he was meant to be. He regretted not changing him though.. Axel missed him every moment of every day.

The redhead turned from the bloody scene, leaving it for the other humans to clean up. This was Axel's favorite game now. He would starve himself, then binge drink, then watch the pathetic humans scramble to find who did it. Scramble to find out why, how.. he was dubbed 'The Vampire Killer' because of course all the bodies were drained. How fitting... Axel smirked to himself as he disappeared into the night.

Mass murder wasn't quite cutting it anymore. He found himself kneeling in front of Roxas' grave, like every night. He traced the already familiar pattern of his headstone with a small sigh. Roxas always saw Axel as a good person, he refused to believe the Vampire didn't have a soul. Axel wrapped his arms around himself, finally realizing what torture this was. He couldn't hold Roxas, he would never hold him again, never touch him again.. He had to live out the rest of forever without his blonde firecracker. Every day and night, seeing him everywhere and never gaining reprieve from the pain. He deserves this though.. This was his eternal punishment.

The rain fell around him harder now, drenching his clothes. He laughed a little. "Look at us, Roxy.. Enjoying the rain again. Just like old times, right?"

His tears mixed with the rain as he sat there until it stopped, getting up to leave. "I'll be back with the rain, baby. Got it memorized?"

**XoXoX**

**AN: I personally love this one. I know it's not got a lot of raw emotion yet, I'll most likely go through all of these with more in depth scrutiny later, but for now I am content. Give me ideas, and I'll see if I can't bring them to life(:**


	3. Dark On Me

Dark on Me

_There's no hate,**  
**There's no love**  
**Only dark skies that hang above**  
**I call your name as I walk alone**  
**Send a signal to guide me home_

**XoXoXcc**

"Hey, don't look!" Axel grinned at Roxas as he wrote out something on the paper in front of him. It had

been weeks since the redhead had told him about some surprise, and Roxas wasn't allowed to know anything. Axel had been writing and planning things since then, keeping them an agonizing secret from the blonde.

"No fair! It's been weeks, Axe. I wanna know!" He pouted at his boyfriend, crossing his arms. His

pouting usually worked, but Axel refused to budge_. _His sudden, new found will was infuriating.

"Nope. Not gonna happen this time, Roxy." He chuckled as Roxas whined. "Come on, just a hint?" He

pleaded. The question had been eating at him, the curiosity nearly killing him. Axel put the papers

away and turned, kissing his lips swiftly. "Let's go to bed." He laughed a little when Roxas whimpered, but climbed on the bed anyway. There was no use in arguing at this point, Axel knew he would win. Roxas knew it too, a fact which pissed him off a little.

"Why did you bother telling me about the surprise if you weren't going to let me know what it was for months?" He asked, his voice somewhat curt.

"Because I love watching you squirm." He smirked and took his shirt off, making Roxas' face change from anger to heated desire. He yanked Axel down on top of him, the kiss turning hotter and hotter.. "Then make me squirm." Roxas chuckled darkly, knowing how well that got Axel going.

"Gladly."

**XoXoX**

_Light the night up, you're my dark star  
And now you're falling away _

**XoXoX**

"Are you gonna tell me what my surprise is now?" Roxas pouted again. Axel had kept the secret for

another two weeks, then out of the blue told Roxas they were going somewhere special. The blonde

assumed it was the surprise finally being revealed, which made him excited. All his raging thoughts as to what it was would finally either be put to rest, or brought to life.

"Not yet," Axel practically sang the words as Roxas huffed again.

"The suspense is killing me. Come on." He stuck his lower lip out and Axel leaned over to nip it gently.

"Quit pouting and be patient." He smiled a little. They sat down and Axel couldn't seem to stop smiling. "You're amazing, you know that? You've had so many chances to sneak into that desk and see what I had planned, and you haven't." He paused, seeming to want to say something else. Roxas leaned a little closer, a small, excited smile on his face. Axel finally spoke again, "What would you think if I told you all this was a test? That I haven't been planning anything, I just wanted to see what you would do?"

Roxas blushed a little and shrugged. "I would ask why you felt the need to test me?" He raised an

eyebrow.

"I trust you with everything I have and love you with everything that I am, you know that right?"

"Of course I know that. Why would you need to test me?" He frowned. "Especially if that was a test of trust like I'm assuming it is."

"Because. I wasn't hiding papers.." His knowing grin made excitement flutter back into Roxas' stomach. So there _was_ a surprise!

**XoXoX**

_But I found in you what was lost in me  
In a world so cold and empty  
I could lie awake just to watch you breathe  
In the dead of night, you went dark on me _

**XoXoX**

"Then what were you hiding?" He frowned as Axel reached into his pocket, pulling out a small black box. Roxas' heart nearly beat out of his chest.

"I want you to marry me, Roxas. Be my husband, let me wake up next to your beautiful face for the rest

of my life." The redheads' smile was so genuine and hopeful that it made Roxas' own smile nearly burst off his face.

He was stunned though, stuck in the same crying, smiling position. Axel wanted to marry him? He wanted Roxas to be the one he spent the rest of his life with? Axel broke his chain of thought when he opened the box. "Roxas, You already have my heart, I want you to wear this ring as a symbol of it. I want you to be reminded daily that you have me when things get dark. Please, baby?"

The ring was so simple, yet stunning. A princess cut diamond surrounded by small

emerald and blue topaz gems inlaid on a white gold band. "The gems match our eyes." Axel explained

when he noticed Roxas looking at it with a small smile. Roxas nodded, crying again as he whispered yes, pulling Axel to him and kissing him heatedly. "A million times, yes. I live you so much, Axel." He whispered through his tears, sniffling as Axel slid the ring onto his finger. It looked like it belonged there.. it was a little feminine, but Roxas couldn't care less. He loved anything Axel gave him.

**XoXoX**

_You're the cause,__  
__The antidote__  
__The sinking ship that I could not let go__  
__You led my way then disappeared__  
__How could you just walk away and leave me here?_

**XoXoX**

"Wheres Axel?!" Roxas ran around the hotel, worried that the redhead suddenly got cold feet. Not on

his wedding day.. He started to tear up until he heard a voice close by saying his name and telling him

to calm down. "Hey, I'm right here." That cheeky grin was on his gorgeous face once more, reminding

Roxas that Axel wasn't going anywhere. That dumb grin was always there when Axel was up to

something.

"Why'd you disappear? And you aren't supposed to see me before the ceremony." He huffed.

"You're not a woman. It doesn't count." He smirked and tugged him closer, kissing him heatedly. "You

look amazing. You still should have at least gotten a veil." He pouted and Roxas laughed, smacking his

chest.

"No. I'm not a woman. Remember?" He smirked up at him. "I'm wearing white, you can't

complain too much, you dick." He grinned at his future husband, yanking him down for another kiss. Axel pulled him even closer, groaning a little. "Can we just skip the ceremony? There is a comfy bed in my room we can break in." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, making Roxas laugh a little too loud. If Kairi saw them cavorting twenty minutes before the ceremony, she'd have a cow.

"Why did you disappear though?" He frowned up at the redhead.

"I wanted to get you all to myself for a few more minutes." He laughed a little. Roxas smiled, putting his head on Axel's broad chest, simply hugging the taller. He sighed heavily, nuzzling into him before he was almost viciously yanked away.

"Come on. Save that for the honeymoon. Axel, get your ass back to the altar, you're getting married in twenty minutes." Roxas allowed himself to be drug away with a sheepish smile, waving and blowing kisses as Axel caught them and dramatically swooned as Roxas disappeared around the corner.

**XoXoX**

_Light the night up, you're my dark star**  
**And now you're falling away_

**XoXoX**

"Good evening everybody. Welcome to New York. Welcome to the Michelangelo Hotel, and welcome to the wedding of Groom and Groom. All of you look terrific. My name is Christopher Shelley. I am a New York State Wedding Officiant. It is my honor to be officiating this wedding. Before we begin, please turn the volume of your phones up as high as possible, so that when somebody gets a phone call during the ceremony we all know whom to blame. Alternatively, please silence your phones. The ceremony is about to begin." The kindly man looked over the crowd and nodded, telling them to be seated before he began to speak again.

"Groom and Groom have asked that I read this excerpt from Plato's Symposium. So I will. Plato's Symposium Excerpt 'Love is our best friend, our helper, and the healer of the ills that prevent us from being happy. To understand the power of love, we must understand that our original human nature was not like it is now, but different. Human beings each had two sets of arms, two sets of legs, and two faces looking in opposite directions. There were three sexes then: one comprised of two men called the children of the Sun, one made of two women called the children of the Earth, and a third made of a man and a woman, called the children of the Moon. Due to the power and might of these original humans, the Gods began to fear that their reign might be threatened. They sought for a way to end the humans' insolence without destroying them. It was at this point that Zeus divided the humans in half. Each of us when separated, having one side only, is but the indenture of a person, and we are always looking for our other half. Those whose original nature lies with the children of the Sun are men who are drawn to other men, those from the children of the Earth are women who love other women, and those from the children of the Moon are men and women drawn to one another. And when one of us meets our other half, we are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy, and would not be out of the other's sight even for a moment. We pass our whole lives together, desiring that we should be melted into one, to spend our lives as one person instead of two, and so that after our death there will be one departed soul instead of two; this is the very expression of our ancient need. And the reason is that human nature was originally one and we were a whole, and the desire and pursuit of the whole is called Love.'"

The way the man spoke, soft, yet his voice reverberated through the quiet room as everyone smiled, making Roxas blush. He loved that quote, and the thought of it being true.

"It all began when Groom held the door open for Groom at the cafe on the college campus, as they saw each other for the first time. Groom and Groom, do you remember that very moment? Groom, can you still feel the weight of the door in your hand. Groom, can you remember the pleasure of a suddenly open door? Both of you, do you remember what you wore? What the weather was like? Was it dark? Were there other sounds? Both of you, can you remember the very sight of each other, the sounds of each other's voices hitting your ears for the first time? Did you ever dream it would lead to a day like this? Can you believe it? It's real. It's happening. It's even more marvelous than you've ever dreamed. Please face each other and take each other's hands so that you may see the gift that they are to you."

Roxas turned to face Axel, flushing a deep red. He began to tear up as he remembered their first meeting, how amazing it was. It was like the world was clearer, full of light and nothing could be bad again.

"These are the hands of your best friend, strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow and forever. These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch will comfort you like no other. These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it, support and encouragement to pursue your dreams, and comfort in difficult times. And lastly, these are the hands that even years from now will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just one touch. Groom and Groom have chosen to read their own vows." The man smiled and nodded to Axel, stepping back a little bit to give the two some space.

Axel held Roxas' hand tighter, smiling down into his blue eyes. "Roxas, you're my life, my

world, my everything. You've given me a reason to live, a reason to be happy.. you've given me

everything. I promise to be loyal, faithful, and yours, forever and always." Axel slid the ring onto

Roxas' finger.

"Axel, you're mean, you're an ass sometimes, but it wouldn't be you if you were always nice. I love that

you don't always let me get away with things, I love that you're full of surprises and love.. I promise to

always love you and cherish every moment with you. I promise to not bitch too much, I promise

myself, wholeheartedly to you, forever and always." He whispered the last words with tears in his

eyes as he slid the ring onto Axel's finger, standing on his tiptoes and kissing him heatedly before the Officiant even got to the chance to tell him to. Axel was finally his...

**XoXoX**

_But I found in you what was lost in me  
In a world so cold and empty  
I could lie awake just to watch you breathe  
In the dead of night, you went dark on me _

**XoXoX**

Roxas grinned as they stared up at the Eiffel tower. "Paris is amazing." He whispered softly. Axel

wrapped his arms around the smaller, pulling him against his stomach. "You're amazing." He kissed his

neck softly.

"Why Paris?" Roxas turned his head, looking at him curiously.

"Because I wanted our honeymoon to be in the city of love. And because why not?" He laughed a little,

shaking his head. He clung tightly to Roxas, exhaling a little shakily. "I love you. So much, Roxas.. So

much.."

"I love you too, Axel. I'm so happy to finally call you mine, it's an insane privilege. But now you have to deal with me for like, ever. Are you prepared to do that?" The blonde smirked at him as he laughed loudly.

"Roxas, I've wanted to spend my life with you since you agreed to be my boyfriend." He shook his head.

"Wow, wait really? And you kept that thought after I moved in?" He looked impressed. Roxas knew he was a lot to handle, and this knowledge was the icing on the cake for him. He'd never been happier.. They'd grow old together, have plenty of fights just for make up sex, maybe have a kid or two..

"I can't wait to start the rest of our lives together.."

**XoXoX**

_Blinded, I can't do this on my own_**_  
_**_You were all I've got, to guide me home_**  
**

**XoXoX**

"This city is beautiful this time of night." Axel smiled down at Roxas, pulling him close. Roxas laughed a little, enjoying the attention. He liked that all Axel wanted to do lately was touch him. "It really is. Look at all those stars." He whispered in awe, looking up at the sky. He looked back at Axel, only to find his new husband staring at him with an intense love, one Roxas had never really seen before. He blushed gently, making Axel chuckle a little. "You're just so pretty when you're amazed." He grinned at him. "We only have two more days on our two week honeymoon. How do you want to spend them?" He tilted his head to the side. Neither of them heard a vehicle pull up..

"Well, we've still yet to put our lock on that fence thing." He frowned, trying to remember what it was called. Roxas heard the gunshot before he realized what it was, cold dread filling him. Did that hit him? Did it hit Axel? He felt warmth pool in his stomach as Axel slumped down against him unexpectedly, making him fall to the ground. What was going on? The world was fading, and Roxas tried desperately to grip to the reality as much as he could.. Was he dying?

All of a sudden, he realized how short his forever was, or could be. In the blink of an eye, his happy reality shattered. He envisioned himself alone, angry all the time.. Crying himself to sleep every night.. Or Axel doing the same. Both of those possibilities hurt him more than he could ever say. Roxas faded when he heard the ambulances rushing to them. He croaked out Axel's name before the world went black, the sound pathetic and awful.

**XoXoX**

_I could lie awake just to watch you breathe  
In the dead of night, you went dark on me _

**XoXoX**

"Did you hear what happened to that kid?" The head nurse whispered to Roxas' doctor, who nodded.

"I don't know what I would do if my husband were murdered on my honeymoon. I would stay in that coma as long as I could." She sighed softly, shaking her head. "Such a shame, so young.. He kept screaming his husbands name in his sleep before we put him under. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do." She looked close to tears as the thought of losing her husband, imagining what Roxas must be going through.

Roxas looked out the window, having heard their conversation. He'd been awake for a while now, staring off into a daze. He wasn't sure what to do. He didn't want to know the status of Axel, but hearing it... He cried silently, choking back sobs. His light, his other half was gone.. What did that mean for him? He knew he had his soul mate, how was he supposed to find love again? He'd promised himself and his heart to Axel merely a week ago. His forever wasn't supposed to be this short.. Why did it have to be so brutal? Why did they have to kill Axel?

His heartbeat sped up, alerting the nurses as he sat there, his crying opening the wound in his stomach. His sobs got louder, the pain in his heart hurting worse than the pain in his chest.

Axel was gone.. He was really gone.. Roxas didn't think he could ever find something to fill the dark emptiness left behind. He couldn't cope with being alone.. The bullet went through the both of them.. Why did it have to hit Axel in just the wrong spot?

Roxas couldn't have kids.. He couldn't have happiness.. All he had left was going back to school, going back to his empty apartment.. All he had left was seeing the ghost of his husband everywhere he looked. The memories of the years of happiness were what needed to last him until his last breath. Axel was still his husband, and he would honor that memory.. The last thing he saw before his eyes closed from the morphine they gave him was Axel's beautiful face, the striking green eyes looking deep into his own as he whispered "I love you Roxas, forever and always.."

The ring felt heavy on his finger as he slipped back into the welcoming darkness of drug induced sleep.

**XoXoX**

_I could lie awake just to watch you breathe**  
**In the dead of night, you went dark on me_

**XoXoX**

**AN: Okay, two things. 1) This is my favorite one shot by far 2) I got the marriage thing from a website and changed a few things, I just loved how it sounded, and also it sounded like something sappy Roxas would want, no? **

**To get the full effect of this story, which I wrote with one song on repeat, look up Dark On Me by Starset. It sets the mood(:**


	4. December

December

The snow fell slowly around Riku, making him smile a bit. Today was an exciting day, and Riku could barely keep a smile on his face. He was too nervous. What if Sora said no.. What if he just ran away? Riku's heart would break beyond repair. He'd decided a long time ago that Sora was the one he wanted to spend his life with, and nothing would change that. He would never stop fighting to have the brunette. He loved him too much. If Sora said no, he would fight harder than ever to convince him otherwise.

Riku walked slowly to the park where he'd asked Sora to meet him, the first place they'd ever met. The sun was cresting below the horizon, making everything a beautiful red/orange mix. Winter was setting in, everything was growing colder and harsher. He smiled when he saw Sora sitting on the bench, biting his lip. The silverette chuckled a little, knowing Sora only did that when he was nervous. Riku stopped and watched Sora for a moment, watching him. His breath decorating the cold air, the snow sticking to his hair as it fell slowly. He walked up and sat next to Sora, wanting to see his amazing beauty up close. The brunette turned and smiled at him softly. "Where we first met.. What's going on Riku?" He asked quietly almost as not to disturb the slowly falling snow in the still air.

"I just.. I had a small question." He smiled a little, grasping Sora's small hands in his own. "Sora, I.. I want to spend my life with you. And with this question usually comes some flashy thing, with people making a huge deal out of it and spending a lot of money, and I know you would hate that, so here I am." He blushed a little and coughed, trying to gather his courage. He needed to do this in a way that wouldn't overwork Sora's weak heart.. The brunette looked nervous, but smiled with understanding.

"Riku, I-" The taller cut him off with his hand over the smaller's mouth. "Sora. Let me get this out, okay?" He grinned as the smaller nodded. Riku removed his hand and took a deep breath. "I've known I wanted to be with you for a while now, and I just.." Sora's face changed from excitement to pain in an instant. Riku stopped, looking at him with worry. "Sora, Sora are you okay?" He put his hand to Sora's face, the proposal suddenly in the back of his mind now. "Hey, talk to me." He whispered, holding the smallers beautiful face in his hands now.

Sora spluttered a little bit, trying to talk to him. "R-Riku.. I-I-I.." He turned and coughed heavily, covering his mouth. His body got shaky, violently so, and Riku knew it wasn't from the cold. Sora had told him countless times that if he got too excited over anything, that it would kill him if he wasn't calmed down soon, his heart just couldn't take it.

"Sora, please. Please calm down baby, please." Riku started to get desperate, pulling him close as Sora's coughs got worse. "Baby, please. I love you, please calm down.

"I.. L-Love you," He whispered softly as his shaking suddenly stopped. Riku relaxed, smiling a little. Sora was fine. He pulled back and looked at the smaller, eyes widening as his heart dropped and shattered. His eyes were open, and he wasn't breathing.. Riku laid him on the cold ground, placing his hands on Sora's chest and pumping, trying to start is heart again. "No, no Sora, you can't.. You can't leave me." He sniffled, opening the smaller's still warm lips and placing his own to them, breathing into his mouth. It was like Riku's breath froze on Sora's lips, making him unable to get anything to his lungs. Riku couldn't get him back.. He pulled out his phone and called 9-1-1, desperately trying to get someone, anyone to come as fast as they could. He looked back down at the love of his life, laying there frozen in time. That was the last image, the last memory he would have of his love.. His December, his beautiful Sora. Riku held the smaller close as the sirens got closer, the lights making fire in the snow as it reflected off the still beauty of the night. Snow continued to fall, the world seemed to still go on as Riku sat in the snow, watching the paramedics attempt to revive Sora. Ten minutes later, a man walked over to him, apologizing profusely. Riku just nodded, sitting in the snow as the men drove away with Sora's lifeless form in the back of the ambulance. Riku killed him.. He had to ask that stupid question.. Had to be selfish... He held his head in his hands, sniffling a little as he finally let the tears flow. Riku didn't move for a very long time, the cold no longer registering in his body. He sat there until he couldn't move anymore, even though the temperature had dropped below freezing.. He knew he would die if he didn't get inside soon.. Instead of moving, he stayed. He would stay at the spot where they met, the spot where he died.. He would stay there until he could meet his love again. He had to.. Nothing would keep him from seeing Sora again. The last image Riku saw was the frozen wonderland of his December, his own last breath decorating the air around him as he slipped away. He would see his Sora again, he couldn't and wouldn't live without him.


End file.
